Planning: Your Bridesmaid-zilla?

While watching re-runs and a new episodes of Bridezilla on WE, we were introduced to a new Bridezilla; Bernie. This is the first marriage for Bernie and the 3rd for her fiancee. Needless to say Bernie is excited and has officially entered full Bridezilla mode. On last night's episode, Bernie handed her bridesmaids a rules of conduct list. While I see where she was going with it, her tact could use some severe buffering. Which is evident in the coming previews showing Bernie loosing attendants left and right. No doubt these women have grown sick of her mess.

Had Bernie taken a course on how to plan a wedding without pissing off your attendants and/or chose attendants who will stick by her through thick and thin and put up with her mess, she may have been able to avoid her current situation. Bernie obviously felt that becoming one of her bridesmaids was such an honor that they would be more than cooperative of her nonsense. She was obviously misled. The ring is not an invitation to be rude, nor is it an excuse to put up with someones rudeness.

I often see brides so frustrated with their attendants and often have to say, "is she acting any differently than she used to act"? For instance:

1) Has she proven herself to be completely un-supportive of you and your aspirations?
2) Is she notorious for being late?
3) Is she confrontational?
4) Is she usually disrespectful of your decisions?
5) Has she been un-supportive of your relationship with your fiancee during the courtship?
6) Has she been an attendant in a prior wedding and cause a ruckus for that bride?
7) Is she a spoiled brat?
8) Does she have a full social calender and often put those activities before you?
9) Is she jealous of your success?
10) Does she ignore you when you have a meltdown?

If you have answered more than 40% of the preceding questions with YES, allot of the time, or let me think about it, then you need to rethink the structure of your bridal party or make her a second usher.

Just because you become suddenly engaged, it doesn't mean that your "friends" are going to suddenly buck-up and begin showing up on time, putting your needs first and dealing with your attitude. They are going to show the same behaviors that they have shown you before. As far as they are concerned nothing is different. And in most situations, the negative behaviors may escalate, because now they are in full competition mode due to your escalating Bridezilla-ness.

So, do yourself a favor, and before you elect them to your highest honor, ensure they are the correct person for the roll. You have enough to deal with, the last thing you need is an attendant that doesn't care about putting your needs first.

Have you had to deal with an unruly attendant? How did you handle it?